It has been over a year since I sent my “I have a secret” blog to my former best friend. She told me I was doing the devil’s work and I was going to hell. We haven’t spoken since.
I have changed so much since then. I am a medium. I am a healer. Those who have felt called to see me feel safe while crying their heart out in my studio (or over the phone). I offer them comfort, guidance, breakthrough, closure.
I have learned that what I do has nothing to do with me. I’m a channel, a middle-man, just there to help my clients come in contact with their higher selves, loved ones, and the universe. They heal themselves.
I have absolutely beautiful soul friends now. If I’m going to hell, it’s worth it, and I’m going with the most amazing people I know.
Don’t live your life in fear of what others think of you. Be you. Shine. Use your gifts. The world needs more love.
I took a class in college called “Playing the Other”. It was a theatre class meant to experiment with playing a character that is the complete opposite of who you are. Can a white person play a black person? Can a straight woman play a gay man? Can a Jew play a Nazi?
I remember during our first class our teacher asked, “Who are your people?” My people? My first thought was my family. Surely my parents are my people? My husband and my son perhaps? Yeah! My son is literally my person. Really. I made him myself! But I didn’t think that was the answer she was searching for. I had a very hard time trying to decide how to answer her question. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that massage therapists are my people. Since becoming a massage therapist myself, I had never met one that I didn’t hit it off with instantly, like I’d known them a million years. I had no idea why I felt that way at the time, but I understand now.
I have experienced and learned so much since then. I know who “my people” are now. Healers are my people. Who are healers? Well, I’ll start with a little history lesson from my time in Salem, Massachusetts…
During the “Burning Times”, the dark ages of 19th century Europe, there were healers. “Witches” who lived far from the city, in nature, making medicines out of herbs in their cauldrons. And because they lived far from the city, it was too far to travel to church every Sunday. And since there was no separation of church and state at the time, that meant trouble for these women. Only male physicians were allowed to prescribe medicine, and only the rich could afford to see a physician. The poor would continue to see these wise women in the outskirts of town. Something had to be done. Rumors began. Stories were told about how these witches’ potions would turn your skin green and give you warts. They portrayed them with a pointed hat to discredit them as dunces. They said they worked for the devil. Fears about witchcraft escalated. Hysteria. It is estimated that 60,000 people were burned at the stake. Most of them women.
Fast forward to the Salem Witch Trials of 1692. A reverend’s daughter and niece had a mysterious illness that caused them to scream and flail on the ground with strange seizures. The doctor during that time had very limited knowledge, so when he couldn’t come up with a cause, it was decided the girls must be bewitched. Any mention of witchcraft in these puritan times caused panic because there was such fear of the devil. Hysteria once again. Women who were considered social outcasts, or those who were least able to defend themselves, were the first accused. A slave from Barbados because she was dancing with the girls in the woods days prior. A very impoverished single woman, and another who was known to not attend church and owned a tavern were next. Escalated. Fear. Over 200 people were accused, 19 were hanged, at least 4 died in prison awaiting trial, and one man was pressed to death.
So what does this all have to do with me? I’m a healer. I’m a witch. I stand with these women and I carry their spirits with me. Like I learned in that college theatre class, I want to be authentically me. I don’t want to play the other. I want to live a life full of love and not fear. My people are on the same journey as I am. They are healers. Artists, musicians, mediums, energy, light, and body workers… My people unselfishly heal others, and are almost always under some kind of scrutiny and judgement for it by those who fear. Whether it be religious judgment, or judgment from our families who think we should “get a real job”, or just neighbors who think we’re weird. We are still in the dark ages, but as the saying goes, “There is no light without darkness.” So shine with me dear healers! Step into your light without fear and shine!
I get asked that a lot lately. Psychic? Ugh. I hate that word. Hollywood has had the biggest hand in ruining it, but regular ol’ mean-spirited people ruin it too. You see websites offering up “psychic services” all the time. Here’s some examples from one I found the other day:
“I will improve your luck for any job”
“I will cast a spell to make you more attractive”
“I will place a powerful hex curse on your enemy”
“I will bring your love back to you”
“I will accurately predict your time of death”
(Side note: Don’t even get me started on what witchcraft is, or what it means to be a witch. That’s a blog post for another day.) But seriously, these are actual services being offered and I’m sure people fork over tons of money for them. When I lived in Salem, MA there was a woman who was scamming people out of thousands of dollars saying she could remove curses. Basically scaring sad lonely people into believing there was something wrong with them and that she, and only she, could fix it. I know many positive, amazing psychics in Salem, and all over now. Bad apples like that woman give us all a bad reputation. And I’m not saying that she absolutely isn’t a gifted psychic. She might be, but she’s channeling the lower energies that I stay away from.
So am I psychic? I prefer to say I’m intuitive. And guess what? Everyone is! Some people are born naturally intuitive, and some people have to practice and hone their skills. It’s like singing or playing a musical instrument. Some people are born as amazing musical prodigies, and some people are born with a passion for music, take lessons, work very hard, and become absolutely fantastic musical performers.
It’s really not hard to predict the future. Say I pull a Tarot Card for you, or do a Reiki session, and I pick up on a “vibe” that you’re being a lazy jerk at work. To say you’re going to be fired soon isn’t so much about being psychic, it’s using common sense and my 6th sense at the same time. And you have complete free will to stop being a lazy jerk, or even quit before you’re fired. So my prediction might be wrong after all.
When choosing an intuitive, healer, or medium, make sure you choose someone who is channeling the most positive energies for your highest good. They’re doing it out of love, and not fear. A healer should teach you how to best heal yourself. An intuitive should help you to better understand your own intuition. And a medium should only channel your loved ones who have the most positive amazing messages for you. I strive to be that person. My hope is that some day we can take back the word “Psychic” as a positive, wonderful thing. Until then… intuitive it is!
“The world is not black and white.” I have heard this so many times the past few weeks about completely unrelated circumstances. I have heard it so much lately that I think the universe must be trying to hit me over the head with some important lesson. Perhaps it’s a lesson for more than just me…
The glass isn’t half full or half empty, it’s just a glass with some liquid in it. It is not in my nature to see the world in extremes. I’m usually neutral, in the middle, on any major issue. I can almost always see both sides of things. There are shades of gray, different perspectives. No right way or wrong way.
… Although after writing that paragraph, it sounds like I’m saying that thinking the world is black and white is the wrong way. Maybe that’s where the lesson comes in…
It doesn’t matter what line you walk as long as you walk with love and understanding, and not fear and hate.
I’ve always been an outcast in the spiritual sense. I was raised Mormon which put me in the “weird” category with my friends growing up. I haven’t been to church since I was a kid, and the religion never really spoke to me personally. But most of my family still attends church and practices a Mormon faith. I can’t tell you how many times in my life that I’ve been sitting in a room with people who don’t know my family or upbringing, and they start making fun of what Mormons believe, or saying they’re awful to women, or that they’re a cult…etc. I listen, get really uncomfortable, but smile and nod. I feel like such a freak.
I don’t associate with any religion now. I’ve been to some non-denominational church services, and I learned a lot about Judaism after my dad married my step-mom and we got to know her amazing Jewish family, friends, and traditions. My husband grew up Christian, but organized religion in general never spoke to him either. Our children don’t attend church even though we’ve contemplated it a lot since we feel all religion teaches you morals. …But I can tell you now that I’m more spiritual and more connected to a higher source (call it God?) than I have ever been as I learn mediumship and understand how to use my intuition.
So I’m a medium? I don’t know yet. I just know that I had a really great job helping to run my family’s multi-million dollar company and I wasn’t happy there. You can say I’ve been “called” to do this. Why would I choose to continue to be labeled “weird” otherwise? I feel like I understand what it was like for my gay friends and family members to come out of the closet. That’s what it’s like for me. I didn’t choose this. It’s just who I am. And I’m really afraid of what people will think of me.
Well, the uncomfortable nod and smile happened again. But not with Mormons this time…with psychics. My best friend grew up as a really strict Christian and she still is. I have “come out” to some of my friends and family as I develop my skills as a medium, healer, and intuitive. But I block her (and a few others) from a lot of posts and I don’t tell her what’s going on with me because I know that she wouldn’t understand. The other day, she started telling me about a tv show she saw where a woman who claimed to be psychic was scamming the families of murder victims out of money saying she could help and was called out on it. I said, “Wow that’s really sad. She gives real psychics who do this sort of help for detectives a really bad reputation.” And she laughed and said no one could really help with that.
Earlier that same day, we were picking up some pizzas for our kids. She ordered the pizza and came back to the car while we waited for them to bake. We were both watching a young couple with backpacks talking at the edge of the strip mall. The woman grabbed a couple of dollars out of her pocket and went into a sandwich shop and came back with a small cup of soup and two spoons. They sat on the sidewalk and shared. My friend said, “Do you think they’re homeless or wandering backpackers?” I said I didn’t know but they looked clean. She went back inside to pick up our pizzas, and came back out with an extra one and handed them a whole pizza. They were so appreciative and waved and smiled as we pulled away. I said, “Aww that’s so sweet you bought them a pizza.” And she said, “I was just called to do it for them. God told me to do it.”
So when this conversation with the fraud psychic came up later and she was telling me that there was no such thing as someone with real gifts like that… I said, “I really feel that there are people who use their intuition for good and I feel like it comes from God.” And she said, “God wouldn’t do that.” So I said, “Why is it so hard to believe that the same inner voice that told you to buy that couple a pizza, is the same inner voice that some people use to help find a murder victim and comfort a grieving family?” She didn’t really have an answer but we talked a little about false prophets in the bible and that doesn’t have anything to do with gifts people have. (What do I know? I don’t read the bible.) I said, “You gave those people a pizza out of good intentions and love. If a medium gives messages out of the same place, then they aren’t doing anything wrong.” I guess she kind of agreed but we mostly agreed to disagree.
This friend and I are like two peas in a pod of laughter. We think alike, talk alike, were each other’s maid of honor, our kids and husbands are best friends too, and I’d like to think she’d love me no matter what. And like I said before, she knows nothing about the energy medicine and intuitive development classes I’ve been taking, the books I read, or the amazing messages I’ve been able to give people this past year or so. She doesn’t know that I was talking about myself when I was defending psychics. But I think that she would feel that if I go down this road, I must be working for the devil, and it stops me from telling her anything about it. All I know is that I’m doing all of this out of love and I believe I have more of a higher connection than I ever have before. I used to call her and ask her to pray for my flights before we took off like she had some direct line to God that I didn’t have access to. I haven’t asked her to do that in months because I have my own faith now. I’m not sure if she’s noticed.
In this world, there are good people and bad people. Good energy and bad energy. People who do things for wrong reasons, and people who do things for right reasons. There are Mormons who have 5 wives and treat them terribly, and there’s my aunt and uncle who treat each other with love and respect, and give tours of the Mormon Conference Center in Salt Lake City and never press the religion on me. There are awful fraud psychics or people who channel lower energies for profit, and people who channel out of love and just want to receive a little financial reimbursement for these gifts since it takes time away from their families or another better-paying job. It’s kind of funny that this just popped into my head since my friend is a huge Disney freak but… from The Little Mermaid… “I don’t understand how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad.” This world isn’t bad, but there’s plenty of bad people in it which is what Ariel’s father is afraid of. He didn’t need to be afraid, and I need to learn to stand with this secret I have. Maybe start by posting this blog…